\[SATIRE\] Announcing Google Zero

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 21:56:49 -0500

[SATIRE] Announcing Google Zero

A Private Messenger Based on Signal

Google announced that, among the dozens (citation pending) of chat apps Google plans to unveil by Q4 2022, there will also be a privacy-friendly option named Google Zero, forked from the Signal source code.

“We understand that Signal has hurt many of its users with the underhandedness of implementing their own cryptocurrency and forcing it on users”, Google CEO Sundar Pichai told news outlets. “And Signal hurt us, too. We value everyone’s privacy, and so we are confident our new Google Zero platform will be a big hit among the cool cats out there.”

\[SATIRE\] Firefox Adds "Ok Google" Support

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 00:00:00 -0500

Firefox Adds “Ok Google” Support [SATIRE]

Mozilla CEO Mitchell Baker announced over the weekend, that Firefox 93 will be shipping with a new feature: “Ok Google”.

“I just want people to know that we aren’t doing this because Google is paying us,” Baker replied when asked for comment. “We truly believe privacy is a fundamental right for people who agree with us, and so we want people to know that Ok Google will be opt-out if you dig around in the about:config page.”

Satire on ZachIR's Human Den

\[SATIRE\] Announcing Google Zero